About

Profile of Kawlinz
Say “AHHHHH”

Let’s start with labels – I’m Kawlinz.

I’m an atheist. If god made everything, then what made god? OMG infinite regression.

I’m an anarchist. People can’t be trusted, so let’s put a small amount of them in charge, and throw people in jail if they don’t want to pay said small group of people. This will work.

I’m a rapper. I got my wisdom teef out @ 22ish and temporarily lost most feeling in the right side of my mouth. I even bit nearly all the way thru my tongue a few times because of it. I’ve regained most of that feeling, but I still have challenges. Rapping is one of them, but chewing bubble gum tops that list.

I’m an electronic music producer. I like phat snares, and I like to rap to the music I produce. Dem big chyunes.

I’m a masculist. I believe that men are equal to women. I know that people use labels like “egalitarian” and “feminist” to convey the same thing, but those words are stupid.

I’m bisexual. How it took me 32 years to figure that one out, I don’t know. My therapist implies it’s from watching Sue Johanson, who said that straight guys dream of penises too. My therapist is also a sock puppet. I need new socks.

I’m a Mixed Martial Arts / UFC fanatic. I have favorite fighters, but generally I just root for good fights – as long as it’s a good fight, I’m happy with the outcome. I’m zen like that. All other sports suck. Yes, fer real. Yes, hockey too. Calling me Anti-Canadian is cool.

I’m a stand up comedy lover. Yeah – nothin funny about that.

I’m a crappy League of Legends player. I mostly play ARAM now because the new jungle scares me .

I get my music fix with Rdio – I have a few playlists that I add ballin tunes to.

I get my porn fix at xvideos – it’s cool because when you open a new window, the video doesn’t play automatically like most other places. Lots of mouse-wheel clicking going on. It’s *the* way to watch porn when you want to invest some time into… watching porn. I said porn a lot.

I always need more weed.

My mom still won’t let me outside when it’s raining.

Wanna help me write a better “about” page? Why? Have you seen this thing? It’s awesome baussome.